Personal Spiritual Experience 


  Some of you are still searching for Enlightenment, while other could just
settle for the truth - whatever it turns out to be.   Many people have
attended church for the majority of their lives and have never once had a
so-called Spiritual Experience.

   I have been searching for answers and enlightenment for the majority of
my life, and despite what I have thus experienced, my search still continues.
   The most spiritually ,mentally terrifying and trying time of my life was
just 7 brief days in September of 1988 in the Washington, D.C. area while
working as a Warehouse Stockclerk.   For 7 brief days, I was spiritually
possessed by a demon or in a sense taken captive by the "DARK SIDE".  This was
the one time in my life that everything I ever was taught and ever believed in
came in question including reality, and I have never before been so terrified.

   It began one night with a bone-chilling cold in the peak of summer (very
strange), like no cold feeling experience I've ever felt before and I had spent
time in Iowa and Minnesota just prior to this.   This is one signature that I
have since used to identify with "PURE EVIL"...
   Woke up in a cold sweat, shivering and freezing in the summer time and it
was about an average comfortable temperature in the room before I fell asleep
earlier and the Air Conditioning wasn't running, and I was somewhat aware of
a presence in the room with me.   It was unlike any feeling I've ever had
before.   The presence seemed to watched me from a distance before moving
closer to almost tower above me.   I felt all this but couldn't see anything
but the physical stuff in the room.   I moved and it followed me.   Panic set
in as I tried quoting a bible scripture that I taken to memory in my
younger days, and the presence began to take the form of a wall of some sort
and almost seemed to push against me like an enormous weight and that feeling
seemed to linger and till finally I was so exhausted that I just went back to
bed and ignored it.

   Morning brought a feeling of disconnection as if I was there but wasn't
really there and I just wasn't myself at all, and I almost had to "THINK"
before I did anything as though I had forgotten who I was.   I went to work
and that was when the experience of "DRAGGING ALONG" began after only working
an hour or so.   I was totally exhausted and could barely stand on my own 2
feet and found myself constantly leaning on something for support.   I made it
thru a couple of days like that before confusion, disorientation began to set
in, until finally I began hearing voices.   Most of the time I was alone and
it seemed like a radio station broadcasting in my head.   The voices over-road
even the TV and radio, and finally all I could pray for was "UTTER" silence,
and that never came unless I managed to fall asleep.   I found myself walking
in circles, and actually paying detailed attention to the voices.  I was slowly
loosing my grip on reality and there were times when I just couldn't decide what
was real and what wasn't.   The climax came when the sound of my own voice
appeared to me to change to that of a "FEMALE".   That was the "ICING" on the
cake so to speak and everything went downhill from then on.  I felt very self
conscious about sounding like someone else and wasn't sure if it was real or
whether I was just hallucinating till everything just came to a crashing halt
and I couldn't get out of bed one morning, wasn't sure who or what I was, and
what I was supposed to be doing.

   I was rushed to the hospital where I kept running away from for some reason.
I did notice during that time that my eyesite greatly improved and I had better
than 20/20 vision - another strange thing.   I finally had to be restrained
and that was when the voices got worse and very terrifying.   All I could hear
were screams of people being tortured - so I thought, but yet every one around
me (Doctors, etc.) seemed to act normal.  During all this time there was still
the feeling of disconnection, something that never seemed to leave me.
   Finally, I was rolled out on a stretcher where I was restrained into a
waiting ambulance - still terrrified, and arrived sometime later at where I
would later know to be a "MENTAL HOSPITAL".   After a brief checking where
people just seemed to look at me strangely, I was released into a hall into a
crowd of other people.   Some just looked at me, others paced around in
circles, and others just did nothing.  All I could do was huddle down on the
floor too terrified to speak or move, and so began my 7 days of HELL...

   I began receiving daily medication, and noticed that the feeling of
disconnection would come and go, but the bone-chilling cold returned.  The
presence returned also but this time it felt like more than one and there was
a strange sound which would accompany the visitations.
   These were what I came to identify as "DEMONS".   During this time, I was
somehow coming to grips with my situation as well as reality as I knew it
since the voices had stopped and I could think and rest.  Finally, there was
one last visitation and one which forever changed everything I ever believed
in.
  I faced the presence and acknowledge it as what it was - a demon, and
refused to let it or them continue to hound me.   I imagined white light while
simultaneously quoting that only scripture from the Bible that I had taken
to memory.....JESUS CHRIST IS MY LORD AND SAVIOR....
   All of a sudden there was screaming and screeching that sounded like
something that was not of this Earth and it sent chills down my spine just to
hear it.  I continued quoting, and the presence seem to lift itself and distance
itself from me till I could feel it no more.   Recovery was quick from that
moment on.  The feeling of disconnection, bone-chilling cold never returned and
the visitations ended.   My perception of reality, the world, GOD, the Devil,
and whatever else there was was forever changed and challenged, and to this
day I never felt the same again.  I had experienced the "DARKNESS" and lived
to tell about it.  I've been on daily medication since my 7 days of HELL, and
to this day.   I take Prozac in the Morning and Stelazine at night since 1988.

 For a while the medication seemed to be the one controlling me and some of
my actions, till I began my own experimentation with them and as a result
some adjusting took place thus putting me on the controlling side of things.
  Side affects from the medication range from sluggishness, increased sex
drive, lack of sex drive, restlessness, inability to sleep, inability to
concentrate, lack of appetite, drowsiness, urination discomfort or at times
uncontrollable, fatique, loss of memory, etc, etc, etc, etc....
  These are some of the affects of the medications that I have to learn to
control over time, as well as those that I will probably never be able to
control, as the saying goes "Some Control of your life is better than None".

  Since that time, I have taken up Tai Chi, First and Second Level Reiki, and
am now a Reiki Master.   The visitations continued a few years later but in a
different manner.  It comes by night as a stifling weight on my chest with
no form, but the presence is very noticeable since it is something that you
never forget, and this time in the form of attacks as opposed to possession...
..and it's nothing that terrifies me since I fear it not, but only see it for
what it is.  The visits are swift but brief, and will probably continue as long
as I am with the "LIGHT"....

  There is GOOD and EVIL as there is LIGHT and DARKNESS, but the only way to
know the difference is to have experienced one, or the other or both...

  In this case, there is a difference when it comes to the "Bone-Chilling
 Cold".
   With the normal physical cold that everybody feels, you start feeling cold
 (i.e. freeze) from the outside in....
   With this "Bone-Chilling Cold", you freeze from the "Inside Out"....just
 the reverse.   By the time you are totally "Chilled"....you are possessed
 completely, not to mention the sense of a presence, and a weight pressing
 against you...whether you are sitting, lying down or standing up...doesn't
 matter.   This all happens regardless of what the temperature is outside or
 around you.
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